Emotional Health, our Entertainment, and Our Men

A Deep Dive into the Male Characters of Drama Serial Jafa

Talking about mental health is extremely difficult. Talking about mental health within Pakistani entertainment is a feat that’s very rarely successful. When I say “successful,” I do not mean those successful dramas that are popular because, let’s be real, we have some great talents. I am talking about Jafa. This show represents Mental Health and Traumas that individuals and families face because of those issues for years to come in a very realistic manner. 

The Drama Jafa has masterfully captured these serious aspects while breathing life into the nuances of relationships that are ignored or exaggerated in our TV shows. This drama, written by Samira Fazal and directed by Danish Nawaz, perfectly balances the weighty themes and the lighter moments. Actors include Sehar Khan, Mawra Hussain, Mohib Mirza, Usman Mukhtar, and Zarrar Khan. I want to confirm that everyone on this show understood their assignment. 

The turmoil of an abusive relationship is not as simple as it seems from the outside. It is easy for us to label someone abusive and say that they have an anger management issue and deem them terrible human beings. However, this person has been enabled by his family and the people around him. Hasan is such a character. He cannot control it because he is told it is not always his fault or that he is provoked. In the drama, Hasan is aware of his abusive nature in real life, which is not always the case.

A telltale sign of an abuser is that after they have an episode of anger, they feel guilty and apologize profusely. Then, they make the victim feel guilty by saying, “Had you not done this, I would not have gotten upset.” Sometimes, they even talk about their intense love for their partner, “I can’t help it. I love you so much; it makes me crazy, and I overdo it.” We see this very clearly depicted in scenes with Hasan and Zara, and we see Zara perceiving them as most Domestic Violence victims do, which is internalizing it and trying to “fix” the person and make them happy to avoid their anger. 

Anger can be all-consuming; it can take over your senses. He goes into the past when he hears certain words and phrases. He becomes that little boy, worthless and in pain. However, he is not that little boy anymore. Now, when he hears those piercing words, he does something about it. He acts. He makes her pay, whether it’s locking her up, screaming at her, or hurting her in other ways.

That pain will not go away by her words or his grandmother’s empty words of confidence. He needs help and closure. Most abusive spouses don’t like to admit they have issues. Professional help is rarely ever positively welcomed on the first few tries. When starting this conversation, having a loving and safe environment is best. Also, try to have as many people as possible that the person you are approaching trusts. Keep your safety in mind as well; reactions can be unpredictable. How they continue to handle this issue on the show remains to be seen. 

Numair is a fascinating character. There is much to be taken at face value regarding his appeal. We won’t get into Andaleeb’s story because that would take a whole research paper, but it is worth exploring later. I do want to say, though, that children are a mirror into their parents’ souls. If your child has so much mistrust in you that they would choose death over marrying someone you have chosen for them, then that says way more about you as a parent than it does about your child. 

Numair’s contempt for marriage also comes from his mistrust of his parents. His mother, a sweet woman, is also not very stable in her beliefs and opinions. This is evident in how she yo-yos with her treatment of Andaleeb and, in general, how she handles matters with Numair’s rishtas.

He has also been scarred by his father leaving, which has left him with a sense of abandonment that he does not want to inflict on others. He also feels that anyone he gets close to will abandon him. This fear of abandonment was confirmed when Andaleeb tried to kill herself on their wedding night. He tried marriage, but he was left behind, just like he was as a child. This belief of his is confirmed by his constant encounter with death and pain. Even though he loves his job, he must face abandonment and separate people from those they love. He has to stay detached from his emotions and away from the colors of life in a way that makes him a bit too objective about life. 

He feels that if he puts his walls down and lets someone in, he will feel everything he has been trying to keep inside to make himself believe that he is strong and doesn’t need anyone, such as the pain he felt when his father left or when he has to tell a family that their loved one will not survive. That is why, even when there is a prospect of love and happiness, he is fighting it the best he can. 

These distinct eccentricities and uncertainties are well represented in the character’s demeanor and how he tries to keep his distance from his wife, who shows interest in him. He has no other reason to reject her. Fear of commitment out of fear of abandonment can make one miss the most beautiful things in life. On some level, Numair knows it. He understands it, yet his unfounded fear gets in his way. 

However, he faces a different fear when Andaleeb decides to leave Numair. It’s probably a familiar feeling, but it is different. He couldn’t imagine losing another person he cared about. He is still afraid to talk about his feelings and why she should not leave because it would still be a massive risk for him. He did take the risk of telling her that he wanted her to stay.

Hasan and Numair are two sides of the same coin: mistrusting, lonely, afraid, and lost boys-men. Both have lost their way, both are in pain, and both have found their way of dealing with that pain because they had to do it alone in the most vulnerable years of their lives. Neither way is better than the other. They are both hurting the people closest to them. Of course, we can argue that at least Numair is not physically hurting other people, but that does not mean that Hasan cannot be helped.  In the end, they are men whose families have hurt them, and that pushed them to the edge, and now they need help finding their way home.